1. WHAT WE RECEIVE
When you fax 1-866-329-2685, we receive the pages you transmit, the fax number you transmitted them from, and the date and time of the transmission. You faxed us. This is what faxing is.
2. WHAT WE DO WITH IT
- An AI reads your fax. Page images are processed by Anthropic's Claude model via API to compose the reply. Under Anthropic's commercial API terms, content submitted via the API is not used to train their models.
- A carrier carries it. Telnyx provides the fax transmission in both directions and processes transmission data under its own privacy policy, as telephone carriers have always done, since before either of us was born.
- A filing cabinet files it. Data is stored on Amazon Web Services in the United States.
3. WHAT WE KEEP, AND FOR HOW LONG
- Original page images: purged within thirty (30) days of receipt. The shredder is scheduled and punctual.
- The file record: a brief written summary of each exchange, the text of our reply, your fax number, reference numbers, and delivery logs are retained so that continuing correspondence can continue. Correspondence is the entire point of this department.
- Published gallery copies: retained indefinitely — see Section 4, which we urge you to read with the seriousness it deserves.
4. THE PUBLIC GALLERY
Nothing you fax us is published unless both of the following occur: (a) you explicitly consent by marking a checked box labeled "GALLERY: YES" on your fax (as invited on our cover sheet), and (b) a human being reviews and approves the exchange. Unchecked correspondence remains forever private, as is proper.
Publication means publication: gallery copies remain after the originals are purged. To retire a published exchange, fax the word REMOVE to 1-866-329-2685 from the number you corresponded from (quoting your reference number helps the filing department), and it will be withdrawn from display and your stored documents purged ahead of schedule.
5. STOPPING
Fax the word STOP to 1-866-329-2685 and you will receive one final letter of dignified farewell, after which this department will never transmit to your number again. We only ever send faxes in reply to faxes we have received; we do not send advertisements; we do not fax strangers.
6. WHAT NOT TO SEND US
Please do not fax us medical records, government identification numbers, financial account details, privileged legal documents, or anything confidential. We are a comedy fax machine. We are not your physician, attorney, insurer, or fiduciary; transmissions to us are not confidential and create no professional relationship of any kind. Our replies are entertainment, not advice. If your fax contains something sensitive that you regret transmitting, fax REMOVE with your reference number and we will purge the record ahead of schedule.
7. LIMITS AND CHILDREN
Each fax number is limited to a modest number of exchanges per day; the department requires rest. This service is not directed at children — if a child's artwork arrives, we assume a responsible adult was operating the machine, as the machine deserves.
8. CHANGES AND CONTACT
This policy may be revised; the revision date is stamped above. Questions may be directed, naturally, by fax to 1-866-329-2685.